Jonathan Krieger | Writer, Podcaster, Trivia Host, Actor, Odd Jobber

Odd Job: Selling my old DVDs

Pay: $35

I had just finished telling the children at the after-school program where I work about the toy I spent two years saving up to buy as a kid. A toy I absolutely adored and used to play with all the time. And now Doug, a scruffy-haired second grader, was raising his hand and asking the inevitable follow-up question: “What happened to it?”

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Odd Job: Giving Blood

Pay: $100

Both sides take a leap of faith when you reply to a Craigslist job offer. The job posters are trusting that you will show up and do the work, while you are trusting that, when you arrive, whoever posted the ad won’t tie you up and sacrifice you to their underworld god, Zotan. If you’ve ever been on either side of a Craigslist post, you know that these expectations are both optimistic.

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Odd Job: Serving on a “jury”

Pay: $150

This is a trial.

It’s not Jack Nicholson hollering at Tom Cruise that he can’t handle the truth. It’s not Joe Pesci asking about two utes. It is boring lawyers and uncomfortable chairs and court-provided free lunches that taste like legal pads.

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Between the cartoonish pictures, the bizarre alignment job on the title and the phrase “There is some opportunities,” it felt less like a call to civic duty and more like something a nine-year-old would design. But poor job posting or not, I still found myself at a polling station on election day, my eyes aching from the six AM start time. There was something exciting about the idea. About being a part of the process that ensured everyone a chance to vote. About being a part of what made our country great: Democracy.

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Odd Job: Writing a letter of recommendation for someone I had never met

Pay: $7

“I was recently laid off.” Peter Randall’s job posting explained. “A neuropsychiatrist I worked for says he has ‘super high praise’ for me and would like to write an amazing letter of recommendation… but he wants me to write it.” Peter Randall had been given the opportunity for a blank-check letter of recommendation from his boss, and rather than doing a small amount of work to capitalize on a rather significant opportunity, he decided to post a job listing, seeking a total stranger to write the letter for him. It is possible that decisions like this are part of why he was laid off.

The levels of laziness at work here were staggering. The boss felt so bad about firing Peter that he offered to write a letter of recommendation. But that task– which presumably would take one hour, max– proved too much for him, so he delegated it to his employee. His employee, whose letter of recommendation clearly shouldn’t laud him for his ability to “complete any task assigned to him,” was in charge of deciding the content of a letter which would directly impact whether or not he was hired for future work, but he also didn’t feel like doing it, so he hired me. I was tempted to ask my mom to write it just to further the cycle.

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Odd Job: Playing poker over the summer

Pay: $3500 in profit

There is perhaps no time when I am less fun to talk to than after losing at poker.^[1] I only half-listen to my friends as they talk, and I speak with an anger that has nothing to do with our conversation, and everything to do with that damn jack of diamonds on the river.

Unfortunately for my friend Rudy, he was the guy I owed a phone call to as I drove back from a frustrating tournament finish at Rockingham Park. “Well, I’m seeing this really great girl.” I told him, my teeth gnashing in the background. “Oh, I love my job, it’s awesome” I said like I was gonna punch someone in the face. “Yeah, I can’t wait to see you when you come to town in December,” I said as though I were scheduling a colonoscopy.

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1. ^[1] Though a close second is whenever I say, “No, seriously, I’m going to start eating healthy and getting in shape” followed by, “I know I always say that, but this time I mean it.” This is annoying when anyone says it, especially when, as is the case with me, the person saying it always spends the next few days eating right, then caves and shovels a large pizza down his gullet while making noises usually reserved for orgasms. ↩

Odd Job: Participating in a research study on reaction times

Pay: $20

Just past Harvard Square, Massachusetts Avenue forks twice in the span of ten seconds. I have driven this stretch a thousand times. I know these forks confound my GPS. And yet, just like always, I make the wrong turn, sending me away from my destination in Cambridge and towards Somerville– a different city altogether that probably owes half its population to people who were trying to get to Cambridge and took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. As I realize my mistake, I let loose a level of violent swearing and rage that most Bostonians reserve for Republicans and Bobby Valentine.

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